A case of fiddling whilst Rome burns me thinks.
I pinky promise that I’ve not set up this company for criminal gain. It is all rather pathetic and out of touch.

How innocent and naive CH must be if they think the kind of hollow declaration they are now requiring will make any difference! None of the devious criminals who misuse the companies registration process are going to worry about making false declarations. What good will such a declaration be to the innocent victims of those criminals? For it to mean anything, it will have to be shown that the company was set up for an illegal purpose, and if that can be shown, then you've got the basis of a criminal prosecution regardless of any declaration made at the outset. Besides which, many companies are set up by agents who sell them 'off the shelf' and setting up companies is itself a perfectly legal activity. If the company is then sold to someone who proceeds to use it for nefarious purposes, the initial declaration will have been true at the time it is made, regardless of what happens later.

As HMLR has always been quite demanding in its documentary and evidential requirements, whyever has CH always been so undemanding in its documentary and evidential requirements?