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Alan, we know you're reading this. May I suggest you take a step back from all of this. A lot of people have had a close look at your personal presentation and found some significant anomalies. You've been found out and there's nothing you can do about it.

Your LinkedIn profile has disappeared, the St John lot appear to be taking issue with you and there may be further professional enquiries to face. Further struggling to maintain your position will only make it worse. But please, seek some professional help. Not from lawyers, from someone who can understand you and maybe help you curb some of your more imaginative tendencies. I wish you luck in your efforts to make the best of your future legal career.