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BREAKING NEWS:-

New research commissioned by Turkeys finds that Christmas is "a bad idea".

According to the research, 100% of Freedom of Information requests sent to Mosques asking them for their opinions on Christmas went entirely unanswered.

A spokesman for Turkeys stated "this proves categorically that Christmas is out of date, unloved, and should be banned with immediate effect. Nobody likes or wants this pointless public holiday".

The spokesman continued "Sorry, hold on a minute. I've got a new appointment coming in from a Credit Hire Scumbag. Six people were in a Ford KA on their way home from a poetry recital and 4:00am in Bradford, when they crashed into a car being driven by the Credit Hire Scumbag's owner's brother."

"Whiplash all round, rehabilitation, physiotherapy, KER-CHING!!! And it turns out they all worked in a noisy job and have hearing loss to boot."

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