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Hi Carlton

You're absolutely right. I've started a campaign asking brain surgeons to a bit of a extra freebie brain surgery on their weekends, and to also use spoons rather than lasers and scalpels so that the hospitals can save some money.

I've also contacted my accountant to suggest to him that he takes a lesser fee because I'm paid less to do the same job. I've suggested that he can cut his own costs by writing in jam rather than ink, which is less expensive, and instead of double entry books, he used wilko one pound A4 pads. I've yet to hear back from him.

I'm also contacting my police department to find out whether they can patrol with bananas rather than truncheons, as truncheon costs have gone up exponentially over the year. If not bananas, then I've suggested table legs from disused tables.

Pay peanuts = get monkeys.