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Recently at the airline style security barrier at Cardiff County Court I was made to raise my trouser legs. I was told by the security guard it was to prove that I didn't have knives down my socks.

I said I've been using the Courts since the days when the district judges (or registrars as they were until 1990) used to walk past us in the corridor to their chambers. I could have killed one then. Also I could train to be a karate expert and kill them with my bare hands.

The jobsworth simply said 'next!'

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