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In other news, the SDT has decided to bring back the Iron Maiden for a sole practitioner who failed to pay their milk bill because Legal Aid payments were delayed.

"Milk is important and is the cornerstone of healthy bones and dentition. That someone can be so lax in their payment of the milk bill means they are not fulfilling their obligation to live on less than minimum wage. This is very much the thin end of the wedge and we want to send a message that such actions betray the public's trust in solicitors."

As well as torture, the SDT ordered payment of 1 kidney and 1 lung, and solitary hard labour breaking rocks. When asked for a comment, the solicitor concerned said:

"Thank God I'm out of the profession. "

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