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I very much doubt, Mr Ball, whether my local golf club demands a large sum of money as a condition of letting its members go, tries to prevent them from joining other clubs, persuades local traders to deny them credit, and attempts to dictate to them what they shall plant in their back garden. I say this under correction from golfers, since I've never played the game. All I can say is, if that's golf, it's certainly not cricket!

But of course the whole "golf club" metaphor is tired, lazy and stupid - and I can't believe you don't know that.