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There is light at the end of the tunnel.

I have this morning attended a breakfast meeting with the manager of a busy court centre here in the north. He explained to me over croissants and molasses that they have been given the green light to implement Operation Speckled Jim. This will see a loft of carrier pigeons provided inside his court, by which means advocates will be able to communicate with each other, their clerks, instructing solicitors, or whoever happens to shoot the pigeon.

Naturally, in light of this revelation, I raised the question of data security. I am pleased to to be bale to convey the reassurance that pigeons, while susceptible to gunfire, are completely impervious to electronic hacking. Furthermore, in order to comply with strict GDPR requirements, nobody will be told the pigeons' names.

Over a delicious platter of black pudding porridge, I asked whether Operation Speckled Jim had the support of local court users. With admirable candour, I was told that this was not yet known, as after recent events most court users were last seen down the park, trying to find Jimmy the Weed in order to get directly wired.