I wish to apply for a position on the QC selection panel. I welcome the Law Society’s open-mindedness in advertising this not just to solicitors, but to a new category of legal service providers.

Like many of these new providers I believe the open market should allow me to provide advice on anything I can get someone to pay me money for, without the tiresome need to have trained, qualified or have any knowledge at all. I will be able to set up a website which, like so many others created by other new providers, looks very like that of official bodies.

I am confident that most consumers will not notice the difference between fuddy-duddy old solicitors, to whom I can say client care is an alien concept, and the bright new world of these ‘providers’, who will provide ‘free advice’ until signing up innocent consumers to a series of expensive fixed-fee services, selling their contact details and taking referral fees for their business.

Best of all I will be completely free from regulation or the need to have any complaints procedure, or ridiculous funds to compensate them if I turn out to be incompetent or dishonest.

My first proposal to the panel will be to get rid of that old fashioned moniker ‘Queen’s Counsel’ and instead find a brand name that will justify properly outrageous fees – ‘Turbo Counsel’  perhaps. That should get me appointed to the panel again.

Neil Howlett, Harris & Harris, Frome, Somerset