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"Thank you very much, Mr. QS, I'll settle for £2,000 plus VAT. Here's my cheque. Oh, and by the way, there have aleady been 64 preliminary hearings and a 20 day trial and I simply cannot get another box full of evidence into my two bedroom flat. I shall bring the other 49 boxes around tomorrow. Must rush, got to catch the tube!. Can't afford taxis any more".

"Eh, Mrs. Young, here's your cheque and I believe the glass nightingale does a very good job especially for lady divorcees, although Heather Mills might not entirely agree "

Just how do you know when you have a Mrs. Young sitting the other side of your desk?

My old senior partner, J I Williams, used to say to me that he wished every client who cam through the door had a red and a green light on his head. and if the red one was on he would politely decline his business.