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I am a family and divorce mediator in Cape Town, South Africa and have a background in relationship counselling. As such, I too am well aware of the distress a divorcing/separating couple experiences and and face it all too often in my mediation room. Ms Stowe asks a crucial question about the validity of mediation when she says: 'When people are angry, distraught or in shock, how can they reasonably be expected to make informed and pivotal decisions about asset division, child contact arrangements and the future?'
I believe the answer lies in broadening the parameters of how mediation is done. Mediation is not therapy, nor should it be, but why can't it be structured with the emotional experiences of the divorcing/separating couple in mind. Perhaps we could rethink the entire divorce process? A barebones agreement and then a more comprehensive one when the couple is thinking more rationally and less emotively? Let lawyers and mental health people put their heads together and figure something out. Why shouldn't we work together and model mediation to our clients?