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Dear Christopher Gough, I note your comments but please confirm:
1.are you a lawyer and what area of practice are you in?
2. Secondly how old are you?
I detect a hint of Ageism in your comments in that 'old guys' probably don't really know how to use IT and in any event it all works so much better without the oldies getting in the way....BTW I am not 'old' as such early 40's and don't have a pathological hatred of IT as I use it at home for other work and leisure.
A few years back when I had the misfortune of working open plan, (now resolved thank god- better firm better everything etc) I was trying to explain some tricky stuff to a client on the phone and he got REALLY pissed off with all the back ground snorts, giggles, chatter and hubbub, saying amongst other things ' gee you guys have a lot of fun there how do you find time to get all the work done ?...' and similar comments. That was not an isolated example.
Your bizarre 'on trend' terminology smacks of the kind of chap who actually sets these silly facades up or who is desperately trying to Impress someone who has....'me Mr partner! Me please choose me sir!'
One final point: EMP.... Your office is paperless and now it's dataless.