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Dear Mr X

I am writing to explain why I have committed you to prison for contempt of court. I appreciate that the injunction which I made against you was not what you wanted, but you will have seen the most recent episode of Poldark and will therefore understand why I felt constrained to make it.

I was watching Steven Seagal on Movies4Men last night and I realised that I needed to take a no-nonsense approach with you. Hence my decision to send you to prison.

Please give my best wishes to your parents. Let me know if they would like to borrow my copy of Rugrats 5.

Yours sincerely

The Judge

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