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You forgot to say that before the Man(woman) of the name is held as a person they must declare three times "I see not of common law and the law of Admiralty is my gift; so state my oath, doth!" whilst holding one leg in one's left hand.

If you do that, you don't have to pay council tax, train fares or gas bills. Honest. And the Ministry of Justice is a company, because it has a telephone number in a business directory. Which proves there is a conspiracy and the whole world is controlled by aliens, using secret rays. Your honour.

(c) The National Association of Bouncers and McKenzie Friends, 2017.