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So there's this barrister who's just come off a five week fraud trial. He drives back to his stately pile in the home counties on the Friday night, and on arrival notices water streaming through his ceiling roses and down his floating stone staircase. He calls his plumber, who turns out promptly and immediately appraises the situation.

'Before you start', said the barrister 'I would like', continued the barrister, 'for you to tell me EXACTLY what this is going to cost me.'

'Certainly' said the plumber. 'You've called me here at 10 o'clock on a Friday night, so you attract my emergency out-of-hours call-our charge of £400. The work will take no more than two hours, and at this time of night it will be £400. You've got your parts on top of that, adding a further £75. Put Vat on the lot, and there's your price.'

'My good man' condescended the barrister, 'My father sweat blood in order to put me through Eton. I sweat my own blood getting into Oxford, where I got a double first. I have spent the ensuing three decades carving out a niche practice that has clients all over the world bearing a path to my door. Yet even I cannot charge £400 an hour.'

'No mate', replied the plumber, 'Nor could I when I was at the Bar.'