Mother in Law: All present and correct – but at what cost?

It might just be me, but I’m noticing a return to pre-Covid presenteeism – and I’m not happy about it.

My husband is back to commuting, despite being perfectly able to do his job at home. The only advantage of this that I can see is that he’s able to pick up some olive oil and a birthday card for me at lunchtime today, at one of the many M&Ss he will walk past. The disadvantages include hundreds of pounds on train fares (which of course coincides with everything else going up in price), £10 on lunch, me having to put the bins out and the kids being starving waiting for him to come home to eat dinner. And for what? He doesn’t achieve more; he actually achieves less as he wastes three hours on trains and gets distracted by colleagues talking about Succession or trying to find a desk to work at. Why does he have to do this? Why can’t we learn from the pandemic? Why does he have to keep Pret afloat?

I’m working in a larger firm now with open plan offices and there is definitely more concern about being seen to be working. ‘I always end up working on my day off’ is something I hear a lot from one colleague (loudly). Another is ‘working far too many hours’, according to his team leader, who then recommended him for promotion, perpetuating the cultural issue. I think working from home, in its own way, is also making the problem worse as people have to tell you how hard they are working because no one can see it. Unlike what certain tabloids will have you believe, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t work productively at home. That has always been the case.

I get that some people have to be seen to be working hard, at some points in their career. I didn’t take on a trainee into my team on qualification because he waltzed in at 9.01am and raced out at 4.59pm. But even that was more about attitude: if he had raced in and waltzed out rather than waltzing in and racing out, I might not have minded. In contrast, another trainee would only leave when I left because, if I was working late, in his mind there had to be something he could do to help and reduce the time I was there. One of my best friends is a secretary I worked with as a trainee, who, in my first week on the job, stayed an extra 15 minutes to help me get a trial bundle copied and in the DX. I was so grateful for the support. But I digress – I am not talking about working hard and sometimes that work taking you out of hours, I’m talking about having a physical presence for the sake of being seen.

It is, possibly, important for managing partners to be seen. I used to work in a small branch office and, when certain partners would come to visit, they would ensure they said hello to everyone. This meant so much to the secretaries who could otherwise go weeks without seeing a partner.

But what about me? And by me I mean a mother in the law. Some people will judge me for going home early, other people will judge me for going home late. The important thing, of course, is what you do during your working hours. I know I achieve more in my part-time hours than many full-time members of staff, and luckily (some of) the stats we are given show it. Output is more important than input.

In most firms, if you divide your fees target by your hourly rate by your working days, you might have to recover four or five hours a day to reach it. What about, then, a culture where you get to go home when you have recorded five hours of time that you know you will be able to charge? I guess that is how some of these consultancy firms work.

But, less ambitious than that, for the promotions to follow the stats, we at least need to ensure the culture of the firm is right at all levels. It really comes down to this: people don’t need to be seen to be working, they need to feel seen.

And, of course, in my life there are two little people that need to feel seen. Actually, there are three, if you count the Enormous Puppy who is literally tapping my knee with her paw as I type. It is why they pester me for food all the time, not because they are hungry. The impact of me being physically and mentally present with them, when I’ve done what my clients need me to do on any given day, is so much greater than anything I can give to or be given from my job.  

Some facts and identities have been altered in the above article