Sink or swim:

in keeping with local footballing favourites Manchester City, this charity dragon boat team from Manchester firm Cobbetts managed to secure a relegation place in its race; indeed, they went a step further and came last.

'The rigorous training over several weeks in the local hostelry paid off,' a spokeswoman tells Obiter, reflecting concerns expressed by some about the football team as well, it should be said.

Still, Cobbetts managed to raise more than 1,000 in aid of the mental health charity MIND.

In the time-honoured fashion of all hopeless losers, team captain Zoe Braoudakis says: 'It's the taking part and not the winning that counts.

It was all for a very good cause.