‘Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer,’ advised Sun Tzu, the Chinese general and military strategist.

Manchester Law Society has clearly taken this message to heart. The latest issue of its journal, The Messenger (Harbinger, more like) includes an article from shy and retiring BBC reporter John Sweeney, who was invited to deliver his ‘personal view of solicitors’.

Some readers will recall that Sweeney (pictured, in full attack dog mode) gained brief notoriety as the hammer of Scientology on BBC’s Panorama, famously losing his rag with the devotees of L Ron Hubbard.

If anything, he is even more splenetic on the subject of lawyers. The piece kicks off thus: ‘In the Hollywood thriller The Firm, law firm members are depicted as corrupt, murderous handmaidens of the Mob…as far as commercial lawyers go, this ranks as an affectionate and understated tribute.’

Yeah, OK, there are a few lawyers in the City who scarcely inspire affection. But surely Sweeney has some words of praise for their underpaid brethren in the criminal sector?

Er, not as such. ‘As for criminal lawyers, don’t get me started, If there is one word that sums up these benighted parasites, mine would be incompetence,’ he rages.

Blimey.

Fair’s fair, the bar does not escape censure either. ‘The job of lawyers in trials is to explain the facts to a jury in a way that the jury can understand. It is astonishing how few QCs – up their own fundaments, as George Carman might say – locked in a smug complacency, get this,’ Sweeney belligerently observes.

Then there is a brief hiatus while he gets his breath back. ‘Lawyers, I hate them with a passion, but there are a few of the buggers I would buy a drink for,’ he grudgingly concedes. Campbell Malone of Stephen­sons, defender of Stefan Kiszko, will be happy to know that he is one of the few in receipt of this unexpected largesse.

But the ceasefire doesn’t last long. Sweeney signs off with an interrogative flourish: ‘It’s injustice that makes me grateful for good lawyers. The question is: do you know any?’

Obiter wonders if he’ll be invited back next month.