Who could have predicted that a few dodgy collateralised debt obligations would set in motion a train of events that would eventually lead to a shortage of junk food in City law firm offices?
It has come to Obiter’s ears that vending machines, the purveyors of Tango, Pringles and Dairy Milk, are being phased out in some firms to help cut costs. No longer will the overworked associate be able to stagger bleary-eyed from their desk, change in hand, for a much-needed midnight carbohydrate boost. Obiter predicts that productivity will plummet and errors will escalate, leading to a tidal wave of professional negligence claims and the eventual demise of the profession.
Indeed, the vending machine cull does spark another question: if even Chomps and Polos are being chucked, what other office perks are being ‘rationalised’ as we speak? Obiter would hate to witness the bulldozing of the Allen & Overy roof garden, the demolition of the Clifford Chance smoothie bar, or the melting down of that weird ticking metal sculpture in the Lovells atrium to make paperclips. These are all oases in the arid desert of the City. To remove them would surely be irrationalisation.
Still, it’s interesting to see that the tendrils of the recession have reached this far – and heart-warming that partners would rather get rid of machines than staff. Although Obiter gets the feeling that by this time next year, branded chocolates will be back on the menu.
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