A legal concoction: Proof, if any were needed, that it's not just soft southerners who indulge in girly cocktails rather than a bracing pint or eight of bitter.

Rob Westwood-Payne (left), head of licensing in the Stoke office of Heatons, and consultant Ian Moxon here toast the continuing success of the department with two very odd looking drinks.

There is something about green-coloured beverages that sets alarm bells ringing in Obiter's mind, and so when a call this week to Mr Westwood-Payne proved unsuccessful, it lead us to the obvious if somewhat unsupported conclusion that he has been laid low by the mouthwash-like concoction.

Either that or he was poked in the eye by a dangerous cocktail stick.