Question: What do you call a Russian soldier carrying a Kalashnikov? Answer: Sir!The form of address that advocates use to judges may not now be a matter of life and death.

Modern judges may be less inclined to criticise if the wrong term is used, but it is still important.One of the skills of advocacy is to inspire confidence, so that judges feel that they can rely upon what they are told.

First impressions are important and if an advocate uses the wrong term to address the judge in an opening statement, the effect may be to harm the client's interest.

If an advocate calls a district judge 'your honour', can the judge be expected to rely on anything else the advocate says? One circuit judge, when addressed as 'madam' has been heard to respond: 'Madame? Are you suggesting that I run a brothel?'In court or chambers district judges should be called 'sir' or 'madam'.

Masters should be spoken to as 'Master'.

Circuit judges, recorders or assistant recorders sitting as circuit judges should normally be addressed as 'Your Honour'.

Never say 'you' to a circuit judge.

If speaking about a circuit judge in court, for example, when asking a witness to look towards the judge when answering questions, use the phrase 'His or Her Honour'.

High Court judges should be called 'My Lord' or 'My Lady', as should circuit judges sitting as deputy High Court judges, judges sitting at the Central Criminal Court and the recorders of Liverpool and Manchester.If you have to refer to another judge, make sure to use the correct title: Halliwell J is Mr Justice Halliwell, Bunton LJ is Lord Justice Bunton.Do not say 'I think that .

.

.'.

Judges are interested in hearing submissions, not about thoughts and emotions.If you are called into a judge's private room, or meet one away from court, for example on the bus home or in the pub, address him or her simply as 'Judge'.If you are in open court always ensure that you are standing when addressing the judge or when the judge is speaking to you.The way in which documents are prepared is also likely to be important.

If, for example, there is a neat, carefully prepared, paginated and indexed bundle, the judge is more likely to start off by feeling well disposed towards the party whose solicitors prepared it.

Such a bundle makes a judge's task considerably easier.On the other hand, if a judge has to spend time looking for documents, or reading badly-copied documents, it may be that the judge will end up thinking more about the difficulty in finding them than about their contents.

In the Court of Appeal, pay particular attention to the Practice Direction (Court of Appeal: Procedure) [1995] 1 WLR 1191 at 1202 -- 3 and Ata v American Express Bank (1998) Times, June 26, CA.Dress is just as significant.

As Steve Biko said: 'If you want to say something radical, you should dress conservative.' Some judges may start off thinking that scruffily dressed advocates pay as little attention to the preparation o f their cases as they do to their clothes.

If you are in open court, ensure that you are properly robed.

If for some reason you are not robed, make sure that the first things that you do -- either through the usher and/or when the case is called on -- are to apologise to the judge and to ask for leave to appear unrobed.Check that your wing collar or collarette is clean and that your bands are ironed.

Judges do notice dirty collars and crumpled bands.

In open court there is no objection to female advocates wearing trouser suits so long as they are of a dark colour, unobtrusive and compatible with wearing robes (see the Lord Chancellor's Practice Direction of 11 April 1995).

Men, when robed, should wear waistcoats or fastened double breasted jackets -- they may not present a desirable fashion statement in the office or on the tube to work, but an expanse of bare white shirt may be interpreted as a sign that an advocate does not normally appear in court.