Gadding about

The Heron Way Under-9s football team has again registered on Obiter's radar thanks to its sponsorship by Sussex firm Smith Gadd & Co.

Last year, the firm made a fuss about this exciting sponsorship opportunity (and it just so happened that the team's star striker was one Oliver Gadd, son of partner Stephen), and it has now updated us as to the youngsters' progress.

And, to be frank, it's not as good as one might have hoped in terms of casting a positive light on Smith Gadd & Co.

The team won just five games this season (half the number they managed in the year before Smith Gadd's name was emblazoned on their shirts), while one has to wonder about their disciplinary record.

Mr Gadd (senior) tells us: 'I think the coach feeds the boys on raw meat before every game.

Life has little sanctity for them in their quest for the ball.

I considered having "We are authorised to accept service" printed on the back of their shirts.' Here new partner Helen Starke (or, as a strange note from the firm has it, Helen 'I hate bloody football' Starke) presents the miniscule player of the season award to captain Ryan Purdy.