Simon looked round the examination room and waited for the invigilator to let him turn his paper over.

It had been a long week and very few of the original candidates for a place on the legal practice course were left.With a family background in the law, a first in law from one of the better universities and colours in cricket and rugby, Simon had felt he was in with a chance but even he had been shocked at the severity of the selec tion process.It had started with the fingernail and clothes inspection on the first morning which took many of them unawares.

Not for the first time Simon was grateful for the thoroughness with which his mother had sewed name tags into his socks as several candidates were failed on the spot and sent home.

There was some confusion as women in skirts were told to kneel: several mistakenly started to kiss the examiners' feet before they were told that their skirt lengths were to be measured.Those whose skirts were more than an inch above the knee were sent home -- although those with very short skirts were told that if they took a special paper they might be allowed back.

Simon felt sorry for these candidates because they were forced to sit the special paper at a hotel in Brighton that night and had no time to prepare for it.At least the ones who had been sent home on the first day had missed the horrors of day two, when they had taken on the Gladiators.

It had taken all Simon's resolve to run round the circuit carrying a filing cabinet, with Savage hanging on to his right buttock by his teeth.

Fortunately Savage had fallen off when Simon climbed the wall.Those who passed were so traumatised, and in some cases so weak through loss of blood, that they were ill-prepared for the searching cross-examination on their characters.

One girl was sent home in tears after admitting to the examiners that she had once conceded a penalty playing hockey against Roedean.

As a grim-faced examiner explained: 'It may start out as dangerous play in the penalty area but it can end up as irregularities with the client account.'The communication skills test was much easier.

The candidates had to negotiate with creditors and a bank manager in order to stay in business.

Here, Simon had been well briefed by his father, a provincial solicitor.

'Whatever you do, don't cry or claim that you are royalty,' he had counselled.

Simon had faced the bank manager.

'If you go ahead and call in the overdraft, I shall declare myself bankrupt and the bank will get nothing.' This approach obviously impressed the examiners and several took notes for their own use.The painting test flummoxed many candidates, who turned up in overalls in the belief that they had to redecorate the Law Society's Hall.

Instead they were given photographs of Council members and told to paint portraits of them.

For those who had never progressed beyond the colouring exercises in GCSE history, this was a major problem.

A few had definite talent but not the right approach.

One candidate was obviously an admirer of Damian Hirst and painted his Council member as half human and half sheep preserved in a block of formaldehyde.

'You may now turn your papers over,' commanded the examiner.

Simon jolted himself out of his reverie and looked at the first question.

'List the football league linesmen in the 1926 season with their dates of birth.' It was easy! He began writing furiously.

If he could get through this exam he only had to pass the tightrope walking test tomorrow in order to get one of the coveted three places on the legal practice course.