Judge thee not: The slick machine of spin doctoring may have finally caught up with the judiciary last week when the Lord Chancellor's Department published its Media Guide for Judges.

Some of the advice is from the 'inhale and exhale frequently to keep living' school of the blindingly obvious.

Faced by the 'unpleasant and unnerving' experience of journalists 'doorstepping', judges should 'stay calm and be polite' and 'look friendly and use your prepared stock answer - even if it's only 'good morning'.

The guide adds: 'DON'T' make a dash for the car, 'hide your face' or, 'as much as you may like to, tell them brusquely to go away'.

Useful advice for TV interviews includes: 'Wear a business suit rather than something distractingly casual and avoid checks or anything red'; sit on your jacket tail to prevent 'unsightly bunching' at the neck and shoulders; and, best of all, 'don't relax too much - it will look like you are slouching'.

That should keep Jeremy Paxman in his place.