Names blossom

The most curious attempt to jump on the foot- and-mouth bandwagon has undoubtedly come from a press release from Harrogate firm Raworths.

With much of the glorious countryside around the town closed, staff at the firm are said to be among those pining for the hills.

But the firms commercial team has, erm, all the rural compensation it could wish for, with solicitors glorying in the names Moore, Fell and Dale and, really stretching the joke, Townsend.

Their secretaries include a Brookes and, subject to a forthcoming marriage, a Wood.

Not knowing when to stop with all this countryside banter, managing partner Christopher Butterworth told Obiter: There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that in future we will only be willing to employ people called Hill, Field or Hedges.

The sooner the crisis is over, the sooner these people will be able to get out into the fresh air.