Silk stockings and wigs

There has been one glaring omission from our comprehensive election coverage in recent weeks, and that is the Official Monster Raving Loony Party.

At the last election, under the wise leadership of the now departed Lord Sutch, the party put forward a host of vital legislative initiatives, such as a Superstitions and Folklore Act, to ensure, for example, that many a mickle always makes a muckle.

It also pledged to remove extremist Loonyism from the statute book, including the libel laws, which it found 'too loony for us'.

However, this time around, there is very little legal content to its manifesto; Obiter contacted Top Cat Owen, the party's chairman, to express its disappointment.

But he was quick to correct us.

'We Loonies deplore the practice of the legal profession wearing black silk stockings and wigs,' he said, 'as they are out-Loonying the party and getting us a bad name.' It seems that whichever way it turns politically, the Bar is in for a hard time.