straw's winning ways

Despite forking out 4.5 million for the Crown Prosecution Service last week, one would have thought that Home Secretary Jack Straw is best know as a politician, given that his career as a barrister was as brief as it was unmemorable.

His own spokesman was not the only person to be 'surprised', therefore, that he should be given a forum at a legal gossip rag's annual award ceremony last week and offered a 'legal personality of the year' trophy.

Mr Straw could not make it, but treated guests to a pre-recorded speech.

It turned out to be just as well he did not turn up in person.

His celluloid presence received a reception very much akin to that of his boss Tony Blair at the Women's Institute.

One irate, handbag-waving guest could not believe that the news-sheet had let a government minister use the awards as a political forum.

The partner, who was too upset to be named, said of the performance: 'It was very political.

There were rumblings of a very slow handclap.' Mr Straw's spokesman put the reaction down to the audience's post-prandial and alcohol-infused state, adding: 'He has always had a dynamic relationship with the legal profession.'