What might have dominated the legal press had there been less real news?

We in the jurisdiction of England and Wales have an ancient rite that Obiter notes has not been observed this year – the so-called ‘silly season’, when news-hungry media outlets run poorly backed up, sometimes ridiculous, stories that remain prominent throughout the summer.

These are the sort of stories editors looking at one reporter in an otherwise empty newsroom keep up their sleeve, if only to convince rival rags and the readership that they have not in fact gone to the wall.

Obiter is wondering what might have dominated the legal press had there been less real news to report over the symmer.

Legal Services Board slams SRA

Scanning the 2012 Legal Services Board annual report, our reporter stumbles across a sentence criticising the Solicitors Regulation Authority. Reporter calls the LSB to check they still don’t like the SRA.

Tsunami of litigation to hit

Our reporter IDs a notional area of legal risk, and asks Twitter followers if any of them ‘might’ bring a claim for a client (if they had one) when the High Court comes back from the Dordogne, Cornwall, Tuscany.  

‘Senior’ associate promoted

Press release from small firm on slight change in job title for a junior lawyer.

Revealed: lawyers unhappy

An April press release from the manufacturers of happy pills is dug out. They did a survey of 23 legal aid lawyers, who said they were ‘unhappy’ or ‘very unhappy’.

SRA hits back at LSB

In which our reporter calls the SRA to check they still mind being slammed in the LSB’s 2012 annual report.

Bust firm still skint

Our reporter calls the auditors of the bankrupt, intervened-on firm where all the partners disappeared with client files leaving their clothes on the beach a year ago, having put their houses in their spouses names, to see if any creditors have been paid yet.

Minister holidays in sun while bust firm still skint

As it stops raining, our reporter calls the constituency office of justice minister Simon Hughes MP, where a 12-year old volunteer confirms Hughes is spending the summer holiday canvassing in Bermondsey.

Lawyer in happy-pill death

Earlier news story seems to claims first victim, according to a Twitter post.  

Firm loses key senior rainmaker

Promoted associate quits small firm that changed their job title.

Grayling in secret chat with Cameron

Well, maybe – it’d be secret, wouldn’t it?

Dog eats client file

There’s a pet animal angle in most stories if a reporter looks hard enough.

MoJ blasts regulators

Ministry of Justice press office is called to ask if a spokesperson believes the LSB/SRA should stop slamming and hitting back at each other.

Rough ride looms for justice minister

While drunk, a lawyer friend of our reporter writes motion for Lib Dem party conference that won’t get debated, and puts the text on Facebook.

LSB and SRA tell MoJ: ‘Mind own business’

The LSB and SRA press offices are emailed by our reporter who asks if the MoJ should be blasting them for slamming each other.

Payments chaos at Legal Services Commission

A barrister friend of the reporter ‘thinks’ she hasn’t been paid – unsure as banking app doesn’t work in Umbrian villa.

Client file dog in critical condition

A vet ‘close to’ dog who ate client file tells our reporter it can’t have been good for a 17-year-old dog to eat a bulldog clip ‘if’ the file included one. 

Happy-pill lawyer back from dead

He’d been in Ibiza, his relieved family tell our reporter on Twitter.

And so to Tuesday 26 August, when the reporter’s colleagues return to the newsroom and spend the morning ridiculing the thinly fabricated stories the reporter had spent the summer writing.