Once upon a time trainee solicitors were known as articled clerks and they had a society. The Solicitors Articled Clerks Society (SACS) had a maroon tie with an ass rampant in gold. I thought it should also have a motto: ‘What is this life without SACS?’ But, as usual, no one listened to me.

Morton landscape

James Morton

It was a pretty raggedy sort of society. I think there was a dance held in what was then the Law Society Hall’s restaurant with a band. But no one came. The president resigned and a friend from law school took over. Shortly after his appointment he told me I was the sports secretary and, ever a combination of Homer and a legal Martha, I nodded.

Over the years I made many mistakes in my career. This was one of the least costly. All our sporting fixtures were with the chartered accountants articled clerks. They were a much grander and better organised bunch who held a midnight ball at the Hurlingham Club. By our standards they also produced high-class teams. Our first fixture was an evening squash match. This was a fairly easy entry for me. I knew five who could play squash and, naturally as secretary, I was the captain and lead player. I won the first point and never saw the ball again. One of our players won a game but overall it was not a creditable outing.

Nor was the next fixture – a cricket match. Ability was not a prerequisite but I could not find anyone who wanted to give up a Saturday afternoon and, most importantly, had flannels. Rout. Worse was to come – the losers were expected to pay for the ball. After several threatening letters our president wrote a cheque.

I did at least fend off the suggestion of one SAC who fancied himself as something of a yachtsman and wanted a boating section.

The end of my tenure came a few weeks later with a postcard from the chartered accountants. They were very sorry they hadn’t turned up the previous Sunday for the tennis match – their van had broken down.

I had not even known there was such a fixture. I wrote saying how disappointed our team had been and resigned.

 

James Morton is a writer and former criminal defence solicitor

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