Solicitor-general Robert Buckland QC found himself in the national press for all the right reasons last week. First, he went on record as saying he would defy a civil service ‘wellbeing’ alert on the perils of bringing cake into the office. The Sun quoted him as saying: ‘Sorry, but I will continue to bake occasionally for my private office team.’

Even more bravely, the Swindon MP defied conventional wisdom about appearing with children and animals by taking part in the mock trial of Goldilocks v The Three Bears along with year-five pupils from Adel Primary School in Leeds.

The kids had to decide whether the porridge-guzzling fairytale character was guilty of breaking and entering, causing criminal damage and stealing the bears’ food.

Buckland tells Obiter that the young jury unanimously convicted Goldilocks after she admitted that she did not have permission to go into the house. Goldilocks is probably wishing Buckland had been on the jury: he told Obiter that, having heard the evidence, he would have acquitted her.

Buckland was full of ideas for further fairytale-based trials: coercive control in Cinderella and attempted murder in Hansel and Gretel were two that sprang to mind.

Which other fairytale characters would you like to see in the dock and for what crimes? Email