Much excitement in the Gazette’s secret underwater (when the roof leaks) lair at the announcement of James Bond’s 25th film outing. But it set us wondering about a section of society currently under-represented in the franchise. We refer, of course, to lawyers. 

As far as we recall the only legal professional to feature in the 007 canon to date is arch-villain Ernst Blofeld’s attorney Gumbold. In the 1969 classic On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Bond sneaks into Gumbold’s office to break into a safe. Two details mark it as a period piece: Bond discovers a copy of Playboy in a newspaper and Gumbold is taking an hour-long lunch break.

Surely there is room for more legal input. How about, after the formulaic gadget briefing with ‘Q’, we see Bond pick up a legal box of tricks from, er, ‘GC’. ‘Now, pay attention, Bond. Here’s something the backroom boys have been working on which could come in very handy: it looks like a perfectly ordinary NDA…’.

But that would be tame stuff. We understand that the plot of Bond 25 begins with 007’s retirement from active service. Perhaps he should retrain for a career in the law? The possibilities are intriguing, especially if Bond cannot update his attitude to workplace etiquette.

The scene: 1 Farringdon St, London EC4. A door marked ‘SDT’ slides open. ‘Ah, Mr Bond, we’ve been expecting you…’

And of course the torture scene could be truly gruesome:

‘Do you expect me to talk?’

‘No, Mr Bond, I expect you to draft an SRA handbook-compliant client care letter.’