A perennial crime prevention topic came up for debate last week – how to do more to reduce offending and reoffending with less money.

A conference organised by thinktank Reform pulled off quite a coup, securing the attendance of both the justice secretary Chris Grayling and his Labour shadow Sadiq Khan. Defending his policies, Grayling recalled some words of home secretary Theresa May: ‘She said she locked up the criminals, and my predecessor Ken Clarke let them out… now she locks them up – and I throw away the key.’

Even more jarring than this was the jargon used by expert delegates. If Obiter had a quid for every time someone uttered the words ‘upstream’ or ‘blockers’, retirement would be imminent.

Apparently when someone in prison commits suicide, that is referred to as ‘self-inflicted death’ – and those who have the misfortune to get caught up in the justice system are not victims or defendants, but ‘end-users’.

That really is the end.