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I've got a joke about a whistleblower.

So there's this man, and he dies, so he finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates with St Peter extending a warm hand of friendship. 'Before I can let you in', says Peter, I need to know whether you've ever done anything particularly selfless or charitable in your life'.

The man thinks about it for a moment and has to confess 'I'm afraid nothing springs immediately to mind.'

'Not to worry' continues Peter, 'What about something very brave?'

'Well, now you come to mention it Peter, I used to stand as a referee in the top flight of English football, and there was this one match where I awarded a penalty against Liverpool in front of the Kop.'

'Good grief!' exclaims Peter, 'That was fantastically brave. When did this happen?'

'Oooh', says the man, 'About four minutes ago.'