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That really is a lovely headline.

It suggests a taciturn, steely-eyed, stiff upper lipped firm full of plucky British resolve. Stalwart, reliable, but above all, taciturn.

However, after flying to gay Paris and hee-hawing their way through the fruits of an award-winning estate on the banks of the Garonne, all of a sudden the shoes are kicked off, the tie is removed and the secrets of the marriage find themselves mingling loudly with accordion music and Gitane smoke.

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