At first glance, the invite to this year’s Serious Fraud Office annual press shindig sent an icy chill down Obiter’s spine. Being one to have a firm grip on important events – thanks to a trusty iPhone calendar rather than photographic memory (yes, times have moved on) – the date set alarm bells ringing.

A quick check of said calendar confirmed the worst: 6 July, 7.30pm, is the kick-off time for one of the World Cup semi-finals… and, in theory, should England have progressed from the group stage, then go on to win their next two matches, it is the same night that we poor Englishmen (or at least, those who care) watch them in all likelihood depart from the tournament. And here lay the conundrum: should Obiter avoid the SFO party in the expectation that England – inspired by captain Steven Gerrard (pictured) – progress into the last four? Or would that be folly, thereby denying Obiter taxpayer-subsidised wine and canapés? In other words, what say the bookmakers?

Rather surprisingly, they say 11/5 to reach the semis. Hence, the SFO have just received a negative RSVP, and the bookmakers, £10. Folly you say? Well, by now you, dear reader, will know whether we beat Slovenia or not.