‘You in the legal profession by any chance chief? I had that John Mortimer in the back of my cab once – lovely fella, he was. Didn’t half talk a lot, mind. Now then, the Law Society. Is it OK if I drop you at the corner, or do you want to go right round the houses?

‘Mind you, we’re lucky we can still drive anywhere near it at all. Those plonkers – pardon my French – in the Corporation of London have only gone and told us they want to block Chancery Lane off completely to traffic. You think I’m joking, don’t you? I’m not – the "Chancery Lane Area Enhancement Scheme" they call it.

‘Apparently the "local community" have "expressed a desire for improvements to the street environment to create more pocket spaces for street furniture such as benches so that people can sit and chat or enjoy a meal". Yeah, that’s what I thought. ‘Anyhow, don’t take my word for it – go and see for yourself, guv, at 48 Chancery Lane. It’s open for consultation until 17 April. Well, they call it a consultation.

‘What’s that? You want to hop out here? No problem guv, there you go. Need a blank receipt?’