As prosecutors and defence lawyers know only too well, criminals can be pretty, well, gormless is the word – or the ones who get caught can be, at any rate. Obiter has spotted a wealth of stories about foolish offenders recently. There was 68-year-old John Maurice, who was sentenced last month after admitting to almost £4m of money laundering offences. Maurice was caught when a trained sniffer dog showed an interest in his nether regions as he waited to board a ferry from Dover to France. He had €63,000 stuffed down his pants, so it’s fair to assume that despite appearances he was not very pleased to see the police. Whether his pants were laundered is not clear. Then, across the pond, two would-be burglars dressed in black and covered their faces with pen as a disguise. They were spotted attempting to break into an apartment and were soon tracked down by police who traced their getaway car. Officers did not have much trouble identifying the suspects; they had used permanent marker pen and their faces still looked like a three-year-old’s colouring book. Last but not least, another US citizen was sentenced to 15 years after he attempted to rob a shop. The only problem was that he had visited the same shop earlier in the day to apply for a job, and had left his real name and address. D’oh. Obiter is keen to hear from any lawyers with tales of daft delinquents at obiter@lawsociety.org.uk.