How easy is it to maintain a family life as a high-earning partner in a large law firm? Is it possible to give time to children, spouse, hobbies and holidays, or do the rigorous demands of the job close off every other avenue of one's life? Long gone are the days of 9am start and 5pm finish; today's corporate partners are more likely to have their coats over the back of their chairs at midnight.

It is increasingly hard to keep all the balls in the air.In a recent survey by Commercial Lawyer magazine, two thirds of partners interviewed took a scant two weeks of holiday or less with their children each year.

Other reports suggest that the British work the longest hours in Europe; 90% of respondents to one stress survey said their careers forced them to put work before home and family life.The ever-increasing size of the global, multi-partner firms together with advances in electronic communication, means lawyers are expected to be available -- and must be seen to be available -- at all hours.

In yet another survey carried out by the University of Michigan in the US, it was found that husbands whose career wives work more than 40 hours a week are 25% less likely to be in good health, although hard-working husbands do not appear to have any effect on their wives' well-being.'Anna', a partner in a large London law firm, regularly breaks her annual family holiday to come back for cases and only manages to take her children out once or twice during their school holiday.

A colleague suggested that she and Anna still consider themselves to be women in a man's world.

'It starts out being about high earnings and women become big players in the game.

As it's a man's game they have to work harder and harder to prove that they can do it.'Geoff May, head of human resources at City giant Linklaters -- which pioneered flexible working for women partners -- says people have to choose how they want to live their lives.

However, taking all the holiday time due to them can be difficult in any high-profile professional service business; there is constant pressure to 'serve your client'.

He considers it is up to lawyers themselves to ensure they take their holiday entitlement.

Linklaters has a flexible working policy and if staff work more than they are contracted, they must take time off to compensate.

Mr May says this is 'a really big management issue'.

Lawyers must be flexible: 'We all get called at the weekend and must be able to manage our own time off.

It's a personal issue thing...

if you don't plan your holidays, you won't take holidays.'The telephone helpline run by solicitors support group SolCare receives a significant amount of stress-related calls from solicitors working 'silly hours'.

During the course of one recent call from a young woman lawyer, it transpired that she sometimes worked 17 hours a day and went on to work weekends.

And she wondered why she felt 'shattered'.She worked for a commercial firm and this appeared to be what was expected of their staff.

She had only taken a one-week holiday in her 18 months on staff.Frighteningly, several of the largest City firms now have sleeping arrangements for staff, providing bedrooms for those engaged in overnight deals.

One young graduate, recently interviewing with a large City firm, was astounded to be shown round its suite of eight bedrooms.

'And they considered this to be a selling point,' he says.As there has to be a limit to what people can do, can it be so difficult to strike a balance between work and home? Many international practices are now becoming 24-hour-a-day 'law factories'; staff working late into the night are sent home by taxi.

The cost in taxis for one large London practice alone was in excess of £1 million last year.

SolCare co-ordinator Barry Pritchard, one the speakers at the S2K session on lifestyle issues, reports an unsettling call from a senior partner in a large City firm who told him: 'I just don't remember my children growing up.'Mr Pritchard considers that it is 'high time' that lawyers said no to such demands.

He hopes that if the bulk took the lead, things might just slow down.

However, the present rhythm in the City takes a strong lead from the legal work ethos of the US.

Recent published figures from the US suggest that one-third of attorneys suffer from depression, and this does not take into account the many more that may be alcohol or drug dependent.Overworked lawyers frequently blame the law, but those who are high achievers and who run on adrenaline seem to be the very people that are drawn to the law -- it is self-selecting.

Anita Tovell, personnel director at City firm Simmons & Simmons, thinks certain branches of the law will always attract those who enjoy the 'pressure and the buzz'.

She considers that it is the responsibility of a good law firm to watch that people do not 'go over the edge'.Her firm is trying out different pat terns of flexible working to alleviate pressure.

She finds that women with young children may need extra help and Simmons has one woman partner working full-time from home.

'We do not have a formal flexi-policy but we try to fit in with people's natural rhythm of work,' she says.

A practice like Simmons & Simmons tries to be user-friendly; a senior partner recently chose his team to staff a weekend deal from those who were free of pre-arranged family commitments.Solicitor Dianna Keel, the professional and executive life-coach who is also speaking at the S2K session, knows of several highly successful senior women partners who employ two nannies in addition to their back-up staff of housekeeper, cleaner and gardener.

These women concentrate on providing 'quality' rather than 'quantity' time with their children.

This often proves inadequate and children act out, leaving the women feeling torn and 'guilty'.

Ms Keel says this contributes to a constant 'leakage' of high-placed women solicitors unable to find appropriate part-time work and who make the decision to leave the law.

And there is little hope of support from a spouse; these women often have spouses who are high achievers themselves.Trevor Murray, chairman of the Law Society's stress management task force and of the S2K session, does not see any easy answers.

In fact, he does not think stress statistics, produced by 'helplines' are helpful at all.

'We need hard facts before we can produce hard solutions,' he says.Mr Murray says any workplace is a potential arena for stress and the law may be no different.

The Health and Safety Commission has already produced a discussion paper on managing stress at work and there is currently a substantial body of research being undertaken in this area.

He suggests that lawyers, aided by proposals currently under consideration, might produce a code of conduct or best practice aimed at addressing stress.Practices may even consider the possibility of firm-to-firm mentoring schemes that could be used to support solicitors at every level.

A supportive workplace is something that therapists have been suggesting for years; it has been gaining popularity in the US for some time.Many lawyers are arguably their own worst enemy, while those whose family life suffers most are often the very ones who are driven to fulfil the high standards they have set for themselves.

Some lawyers' reluctance to be away from the office seems to indicate their own anxiety about not being easily available.

The current attitude in the law must also playa part.Accessibility around the clock has become a selling point in many firms of international reach and this could be seen as a somewhat pernicious trend.

For those lawyers who are not prepared to put in the hours, there is always the haunting spectre of another waiting in the wings who is.Statistics about stress do not help; as Trevor Murray says: 'We've got to get away from apocryphal hype and get on with doing something about it.''Presentism', the symbolic coat on the back of the chair, is a game that can become very dangerous; the cost to family life and to sanity may be very high.