Legal star is born - at a price

A fascinating brochure reaches us from a company called JLA that boasts the most remarkable roster of celebrities available to speak at or present conferences, or provide evening entertainment - Mikhail Gorbachev, Sven Goran Eriksson, Clive James, John McEnroe, Kylie Minogue or, erm, Les Dennis anyone?A few legal names pop out too.

Commercial barrister Stephen Mason can be had for a mere 1,000 to 2,500 to talk about the law surrounding e-business, while in the same price bracket is 'highly irreverent' Crown Prosecutor Peter J Brown, who has, apparently, 'travelled from Abersoch to Abu Dhabi telling audiences unlikely tales of British justice, from the case of the irresistably attractive sheep to the over-enthusiastic police dog' (presumably these are two stories, although they could equally be one, we suppose).

And in the price bracket above (2,500 to 5,000), there is barrister Clive Coleman of the Inns of Court School of Law and author of the slightly lame radio sitcom 'Chambers'.

The brochure says, in a line that may have come from one of his scripts, that Mr Coleman 'uses his courtroom skills to rise to any audience'.

He is in the same group as David Mellor, Charles Kennedy, Kate Adie, Jon Snow, Tom O'Connor and Jack Charlton among others, so he must be doing something right.

But if you really want Les Dennis instead - and who can blame you? - he'll set you back between 5,000 and 10,000.

It brings a whole new meaning to 'Family Fortunes'.