Men.

They're all the same

'There I was, sitting quietly in my office while reading an extremely interesting folder, when this bloke came in and threw himself across my desk.

"Well, hello there, lovely lawyer lady," he said.

"I've got something small but very sensuous in my hand just for you." But no, I couldn't just enjoy him myself; another of the lawyers here at Kuit Steinart Levy in Manchester had to barge in.

"Hey, Shelley, what do you think of my new glasses?" said Sally, with a pathetic pretence.

"That's Ms Broderick to you, Ms Bird," I wanted to say.

"And who's this hunk?" she went on before I could get a word in.

"Well, hello, lovely lawyer lady," he said, pushing my books off the desk as he made himself comfortable.

"I'm a male model hand-delivering samples of Boss Woman, a new fragrance from Hugo Boss, for powerful ladies like yourselves.

Now, pose for the totally non-cheesy publicity photo." I tried to smile, but all I could think about was why us, and how to get Shelley out of the office so I could sample him alone.

"Now that's done, let's look at these photographs of my girlfriend that I brought with me," he said, pointing to the folder he had with him.

"Grr," Shelley and I said together.

"Men.

They're all the same.

They give you a bit of perfume and think you'll do anything." '