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On the subject of temps...

In a firm I worked if secretaries were off on holiday they would more often engage temps. I left dictation regarding an ex gratia offer and received a letter back which referred to an 'excreta' offer. At least the spelling was correct. I had her look up what she had written and after lunch asked her if she knew what the would actually meant and she said, sheepishly, 'poo'. It wasn't quite that bad an offer. Made my week.