Tales from the costs bench

There are, it would appear, many moments which enliven the lives of judges up and down the country, according to a series of articles about their working days in the latest Association of District Judges' Law Bulletin.

One new costs judge writes about his first day at the Supreme Courts Costs Office and being sworn in as a member of the judiciary: 'I am accompanied to court 30 by my colleagues and am told to expect an encouraging pep talk from the learned judge.

After reading the oath in my best judge-like voice...

I sit down to listen to my eagerly awaited pep talk, which consists of the words "Welcome to the judiciary".' Worse was to come for this chap when, in the second file he opened, he found an appeal against a decision he made as a deputy master.

'In my five years as a deputy, I have never been appealed.

This is a personal insult!' he writes.

Then there is the longer-serving costs judge who writes of a pile of boxes being delivered for a case the following day.

'I find them in chaotic order but an interesting letter is near the top of the first correspondence bundle written from costs draftsman to conducting solicitor: "Dear Joe, I have included item X [worth 1,000] but we haven't a snowball in hell's chance of getting it unless we hit a deputy master on an off day.

PS - whatever you do, do not leave this letter on the file." I smile to myself at the stupidity of some in the profession.' It must make the job worthwhile.