In these grim times, let’s be grateful for one reliable source of good news. Yes, the Legal Ombudsman was five years old last month. And, to celebrate, it has been publishing ‘verbatim feedback’ from customers.

Obiter hopes we won’t cause too many blushes by reproducing a representative selection. Here we go:

‘The outcome was fair to the client and us.’

‘It was a fair outcome, although not exactly what I would have hoped for.’

‘The investigator took a true and impartial approach to reviewing the evidence.’

‘Everyone went out their way to help. They did what they said they would do.’

‘I thought they were very efficient.’

‘I did not have a very good outcome, but the investigator was superb. Please get in touch with the Legal Ombudsman, they are in a class of their own.’

‘Let the officials in the law-enforcement organs become fierce tigers for the unsound and hostile elements and faithful and true servants for the people!’

‘Let us turn ours into a country of mushrooms by making mushroom cultivation scientific, intensive and industrialised!’

OK the last two were slogans put out by the government of the People’s Democratic Republic of Korea, but you get the picture. Here’s to another five glorious years.