We read the election manifestos so you don’t have to. In the Tories’ 83-page tome there is perhaps a tiny hint that the party is sick of the sight of lawyers – what with all those pesky JRs and noisy demos in Westminster every other week.  

The word ‘lawyer’ features just once – in an obscure section explaining that a Conservative government would grant loans to community groups looking to buy their cherished local boozer. The cash would be used to fund lawyers’ fees, it helpfully suggests. 

Should you be so prevailed upon, Obiter’s advice is simply to accept payment in free beer.