It was apparent I was not doing well with my Fleet Street articles. I had been transferred from the care of the reformed alcoholic outdoor clerk to the head of the litigation department, the foul-mouthed Smithson.
This secretive man, who was forever saying I didn’t fit in, was clearly not going to show me even the basic tenets of the trade and I moved to Simpson’s offices in a suburb within the boundaries of the M25.
What I did not realise was that my hiring was part of a power struggle between Simpson and his formidable secretary who, under his nominal supervision, did the conveyancing as well as nannying him through his day’s appointments.
The plan, which had been hatched in the mistaken belief that I had passed the Law Society’s intermediate paper in conveyancing, was that I knew about buying and selling houses. In due course, Simpson would get another secretary. I should take over at least some work from the secretary who would now become ‘a conveyancing clerk’.
More by Morton
A dozen files were dumped on my desk with strict instructions that I should not complete any matters without all the money safely in the client account. This was my first mistake. I wrote to Simpson’s’ ‘best client’ asking him for something under £1.
The second mistake occurred a few days later when I was sent to complete a chain house sale and purchase. I had never done this and had no real idea what to do, but there was a typed set of instructions in the file. They did not, however, include directions to the other solicitor’s office. I arrived late and dripping on a wet Friday afternoon to a wall of experienced managing clerks – who wanted to get off early – waiting for me to start the chain of completions.
‘Where was the banker’s draft?’ ‘Had I the key release?’ ‘The completion statement is £2 wrong.’ ‘Give an undertaking.’ ‘Look in the file, boy.’ ‘You’ll have to ring your office.’
I scrabbled through the file looking at nothing but carbon copies until I gave up and whimpered, ‘Does anyone have my firm’s telephone number please?’
No comments yet