Mother in Law: Casual racism

Last summer I wrote to our immigration colleagues following the riots. I reminded them that the rioters - who in themselves seemed confused as to whether they hated immigrants or mostly wanted to loot vapes - were a very small minority. I hoped it went without saying, but I wanted to use my small platform to say it anyway. 

A year on, the leader of the free world and my uncle have made me feel the need to speak up again. Which one to deal with first? Let’s go with my uncle.

I took him to hospital a couple of weeks ago where he received excellent care. From the ward receptionist to the nurses to the doctor, everyone either looked or sounded like they 'didn’t come from round here'. My uncle was, of course, very grateful. Funny how people are so grateful for the NHS generally but hazy on the specifics of who keeps it working. He came back to our house for dinner and afterwards, utterly unaware of the irony, started moaning about immigrants. They only come here for the welfare benefits, apparently. I’m already confused at this point because I thought they’d come over here to steal our jobs. But I let it go, because he’s old and a guest in our house.

But it went on. And on. Within about six sentences he had assured me it was inevitable these 'people' were going to make my girls join criminal gangs. You know, Deceptively Angelic Child No.1 who was snuggled under her duvet watching Gilmore Girls for the hundredth time and DALC2 who was on the sofa playing Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza with her dad.

'My kids aren’t joining a gang,' I said.

'Well, unfortunately, I think it is inevitable,' he said.

DALC2 had paused in between Goat and Cheese, playing card in hand and eyes wide. I mean, knowing her, she was probably thinking it would be brilliant to be in a gang but could see this wasn’t the time to mention it.

I’ve spent my whole adult life learning, and trying hard, to say what I mean rather than asking people (particularly men and children) to guess what I mean. I don’t say 'would you like to help me with dinner' if I mean 'help me with dinner'. I don’t say 'I’m fine' through gritted teeth while slamming doors.

So I said, 'The things you are saying are untrue. I need you to stop saying them now as I will not have DALC2 hearing them.'

It’s a shame really, as when my grandad was in his nineties and would be casually racist I remember thinking 'at least his lot will die soon'. But here we are, 20 years on, and people my parent’s age are acting the same way. I think a lot of it comes down to fear, and people capitalising on that fear.

Have you ever had an immigrant steal your job? Have you ever known anyone except the best candidate get offered a position first? I haven’t. Maybe as you get older and your circle becomes smaller, you worry more about these perceived threats. 

Which brings me on to the other one. Have you actually read the White House factsheet on the removal of DEI? You would be forgiven for thinking you were reading something from a Malorie Blackman novel. Mate, diversity and inclusion initiatives are not racist. They are about giving someone a shot. In fact, they are literally merit based, by ensuring the best person gets the job by opening the door for everyone. That’s all. 

So, again I’m going to say what I mean. American law firms with offices here, multinationals with offices in America - what are you going to do? Why are you not speaking up? You are lawyers. A majority of you will have been inspired into your careers by Atticus Finch and Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, I would hope, and believe in doing the right thing. And the truth, if you can handle it, is that (generally speaking) young, white, able-bodied men from advantaged backgrounds are not being discriminated against and don’t need the playing field tilted back. The system, and history, tilted it for them.

Some facts and identities have been altered in the above article